


I’m your Brother’s Enemy How are you?

by Who_First



Series: Thieves and Shine [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Teen Titans
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick has a lot of frenemies he blackmails and bribes into checking on Tim. That doesn't ever go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uh Oh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lectoral](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lectoral).



> For Lectorel who asked that I write out Tim in Thief Verse meeting some of Dick’s frenemies which is so much fun and let me know if you can figure out the ones I didn’t name. Anyway -cough- ahem. First half below and mixing Toon Titans with comic verse

Dick had a lot of friends, most people did, but Dick could make friends with a starving tiger. Even then most people didn’t make friends with their enemies. Well except for Tim and he was out of the hero business so it wasn’t like they were his enemies. Besides Selina was never all that enemy like and the other two were her friends.

But the point stands. Tim had gotten used to heroes popping in to check on him whether they were his ex-teammates or Dicks. A lot were Dicks. Heroes yes; enemies no. Enemies were not supposed to randomly pop in to check on estranged kid brothers.

The first time Tim met Red X the thief had shown up after he’d had been kidnapped.

“You’re Tim right? Dick talks about you a lot. He told me if I checked on you for him, he’d sleep with me again.”

 _What_?! On the other hand… Tim eyed the costumed villain. Male, probably around Dick’s age, red and black outfit and white skull mask with a scar like red x. Looked suspiciously like something Dick would wear. And yeah Dick would use sex as a bribe.

Tim had been sitting in a nice little room, a tasty dinner in front of him, courtesy of Oswald Cobblepot who apparently wanted words with Selina. And obviously the best way to convince her to come around and talk was to kidnap her apparent pet kid. But this would, in all probability, be a bit more interesting.

“So anyway you look kinda bored” And the thief was ignoring Tim’s quiet reflecting. “So I’m gonna kidnap you and we can go clubbing.”

“Wait…what?”

“Yeah it’ll be fun!” The thief was undoing the handcuff attaching Tim’s left hand to his chair, something Tim hadn’t bothered to try and do since he was supposed to be a ‘harmless civilian’.

“But-“

Red X grabbed him around the waist bodily lifting Tim out of the chair and over his shoulder.

“Don’t be wet kitten Timmy, it’s time to party.”

“Hey! No, stop!”

The worst part was that Tim still wasn’t sure if that was the most traumatizing of the meetings with the various people Dick had conned into checking in on him.

Just as exciting, read _very fucking scary_ , was the time Tim met a nice older women in the Library. Tall built and gorgeous with tan skin not at all hidden by a white two piece and neon pink buzzed fuzz for hair.

“Hi Tim.”

“Uh… Hi?” Tim’s book was dropped to the table as oodles of lovely bare skin sat in the seat opposite.

“Jinx.” She leaned back and smirked, _very_ smugly. “I was told to check on you.”

“Really.” Tim glared at the pretty and most likely dangerous woman. He might not recognize her but the only type of women Dick knew were **Dangerous**.

“Tell Dick to back off. I’m fine and I don’t want him in my life.”

“That’s rather harsh.” Jynx tipped her head and Tim noticed that her eyes had sharpened into cat like slits. “But Wally asked me to check on you. I can’t upset him by coming back with nothing to say.”

“So.” Tim pouted and looked down at the open book.

“So,” Jynx could pure like a mountain lion and her hands were glowing green. “We’re going to spend the day together and have fun. Or I can drag you out of here and we’ll do the same just with you a fuzzy frog that’s easier to carry around.”

“Can you do that?” Tim asked very slowly eyes fixed on glowing hands. _Why the hell hadn’t Dick ever talked about her? Probably because he didn’t sleep with her._

“Would you like to test?” Jynx was grinning as she stood up. “Hurry up all this dead trees makes me sad.”

“I’d hate to make you sad.” Tim snarled under his breath as he stood up.

In an odd way Jynx was a lot of fun. When she was outside she bloomed and lectured Tim on all sorts of random affairs from historical battles to rare earth magics. Tim hoped that she never met Pamela.

There were others, a few more random thieves and semi-ex villains that would pop up randomly talk with him, no matter how he tried to resist in the beginning, or force a ‘fun day’. There was the thief with the black and red eyes that taught Tim how to play pool, luckily before he blew up the balls, and how to speak really bad Cajun. Another thief that spoke with a thick French accent and worked with more common explosions showed him the best way to blow a door in half without hurting anything else. And then there was another pretty woman, also with a lot of skin showing, that definitely was sleeping with Roy and possibly had with Dick.

Tim was positive that half the people who would check on him were paid off in sex.

Then there was the time that Tim was sure he was about to die. He also learned that Dick needed to work on self-control when it came to ‘pretty’ people. That might have been Tim’s jealousy talking.

In any case Cobblepot and Selina had gotten into… well war would be the best word for it. It led to Selina coming home with broken ribs, and one memorable night a gunshot graze across her ribs, and Tim ending up on a hit list.

So you could understand his concern when he opened the apartment door to a big man with a shock of white hair and a single eye was staring through him.

“Hello Timothy Drake.”

 _“Slade’s not like other villains little brother. He always has multiple plans and you can never tell what’s going through his mind. But you can reason with him and he’s hot as hell…”_

Why did Tim remember that last bit? Oh because the proof was standing in front of him. And the bastard could purr.

“I’m here to kill you.”

 _Well… that’s bad._

“Please come in.” Tim stood back, _what the hell!! Tim Drake you are insane!!,_ and asked “Would you like something to drink?”


	2. Of Course I’m a Bad Guy Do you See the Sword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah part two. Not sure how I feel about this… both Tim and Slade feel a bit off but that could be because Inception is playing in the background ehh. Hope the second half lives up to the first half.

 

Slade wasn’t in costume. Time wasn’t sure if that was because Slade knew Tim had no chance of stopping him, or out of some respect to Dick, that his little brother should know who was about to kill him.

“Sit down Little Bird and stop fidgeting.”

“How can I when you said you’re here to kill me?”

And no, Tim would not muse on his mouth’s ability to run off into the pits of insanity. Dick probably passed that ability on.

The Terminator had a long sword, katana, in one hand the other empty. The flat, _dead_ , eye was fixed on Tim’s every move but he seemed to be amused. Which could possibly lengthen Tim’s life.

“I’m not a bird. Just me.” Tim stayed still, no sudden movements in front of the interested predator, and watched him back. “Not really worth much to anyone. Why kill me?”

“You’re worth a paltry amount to the Penguin.” Slade’s lips quirked at the name, Tim suspected he was making fun of Cobblepot in the privacy of his mind. “Dead of course.”

“Oh? You’re doing jobs for pennies now? Or was there a sale.” _Oh yes. Good job Tim. Snark all you want at the assassin walking towards you with a pointy sharp thing._ But his eyes never left the mercenary as he carefully backed up into the lounge area.

“You’re not much like Grayson are you.” Slade was tilting his head, the one flat eye focusing, and half smiled as he followed Tim’s every step further into the apartment. “He would be fighting for his life now. The minute he opened the door.”

“Everyone always compares me to Dick.” No Tim did not snarl at that, he still loved his brother, he just didn’t want everything to revolve around him. “Sometimes calmer minds prevail.”

“Perhaps.” Slade lunged forwards, katana turning invisible as he swung, Tim was arching back trying to move out of the way. Tripping over the couch which could have been good as the katana bit through stuffing and metal insides before it hit Tim.

The edge was sharp. Very sharp. Tim opened his eyes to see Slade’s one eye from inches away the katana a shining beacon between them with its oh so sharp edge pressed against Tim’s lips. He could almost feel his skin starting to split apart where metal met flesh.

“But you’re the one I was hired to kill.”

Out of the corner of his eye Tim could see his breath fogging against cold steel.

“Aren’t you going to try and stop me?” Slade asked when Tim stayed silent and watchful.

“Why should I?” Tim bared his teeth in a razor sharp smile. “If you were really going to kill me, you would have done it the moment I opened the door, before I knew you were there.”

Once more the lips twitched and this time Tim thought he might have passed a test.

 “And where is the lovely Ms. Kyle this evening? I thought for sure that I would have to kill her before we had this little chat.”

“I told her I would take care of it. I was trained by the best.” And Tim would be happy to show her that he was still alive later on. Provided that his heart didn’t stop from the stress.

“Not the best.” Slade’s lips pulled back to show all of his teeth. Tim was half surprised that there weren’t any fangs.

“I’ve never met you before.”

Tim blinked slowly and after a long, painfully tense moment, began to laugh. Which was not the best idea: as it led to his bottom lip being cut open on the blade.

The katana was pulled back and inch, keeping the laughing teen from further injuring himself, before Slade moved to sit next to Tim on the couch. The hand not attached to the blade of death moving slowly to grip the back of Tim’s neck.

“If you’re offering to train me I’m not interested.”

“Perhaps. You may change your mind.” Slade purred, teeth still bared, waiting as Tim’s hysterical laughter stopped. “Cobblepot decided that he didn’t need for you to be killed. Just the threat was enough he decided. Right before I knocked on your door.”

“That was nice of him.” Tim wasn’t all that surprised, Selina and Cobblepot would never get along but they could usually come to an arrangement. Hurting her family would have ended in blood.

He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Slade entered to apartment to kill him. Tim was quiet, he could feel Slade’s heavy hand on the back of his neck, and waited. Slade wouldn’t have bothered knocking if there wasn’t something else.

“Grayson asked me to kidnap you.”

“What?!”

“I told him he was being more idiotic than normal.” Slade had an almost fond look on his face.

“What’s wrong with him? I’m fine.” Even to Tim the words rang empty and that was before the hand tightened in warning.

“You didn’t fight all that hard.” Slade was almost pleasant about pointing it out it was just the katana had shifted to lie across Tim’s lap.

“I knew you weren’t going to kill me.”

“Really?” Slade must have x-ray vision Tim thought.

“It was a guess.” Tim tensed up as fingers started drumming on the back of his neck. “Why didn’t you…”

“Do as Dick asked? Simple Little Bird. If I bother to kidnap someone I will keep them.”

 _Deathstroke the Terminator was ruffling his hair!_

Slade stood up, katana going into its sheath on Slade’s back, and the one eye did a sweep of Tim’s frame before he half smiled at whatever he saw.

 “That’s it? You’re just leaving?”

“My contract was terminated,” Slade said mildly. “Why should I stay?”

Tim stayed quiet.

“Was there something else you needed?”

The bastard mercenary was staring down at him and _purring_.  Why could so many villains purr? It was…misleading.

“I just… why did you bother to come?”

“Maybe I just wanted to see the little brother that has Dick so worried.” Slade cocked his head, Tim wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Slade thought of him. “He’s been calling out all his old enemies that he trusts to keep an eye on you.”

Because Dick would make friends with half of his enemies.

“Did he sleep with you?” _What did he just ask?_

“What?” Slade looked as surprised as Tim felt.

“I’m just trying to figure out why there are so many villains willing to do him favors.”

“That… is something you should ask your brother. I’m not so sure you’re old enough to have gotten the sex talk. I won’t be giving it to you.”

Slade was turning away to the door as Tim’s cheeks lit on fire.

“Good evening Timothy Drake, give my regards to Ms. Kyle, and try to stay out of trouble.”


End file.
